What to Do if You Are Scared of Your Horse

It's a feeling many riders know, but few talk about: the knot in your stomach, the shaky hands, the sudden urge to find any excuse not to ride. You love your horse, you want to ride, but that fear just won't budge. It can feel like a huge secret, a personal failing, or a sign that you're not a "real" equestrian. Let's be clear: it's none of those things. It's a completely human experience, and it's something we can work with.

Tricky Brains

Your brain is designed to keep you safe. When it perceives a threat, it kicks into high gear, sending out all sorts of alarms. With horses, these alarms can go off for all sorts of reasons – a past fall, a spooky moment, even just watching someone else have a bad ride. And once those alarms are ringing, it's hard to hear anything else. Your brain is trying to protect you, but sometimes, in its zeal, it actually keeps you from doing what you really want to do.

 What Happens When We Fight It?

So, your brain sends out a fear signal. What's your natural reaction? To try and make it stop! We tell ourselves to "just get over it," "don't be silly," or we try to push the feeling away. But often, the more we try to push away fear, the stronger it seems to become. It's like trying to hold a beach ball underwater – the harder you push, the more it wants to pop back up. This struggle can be exhausting and actually keep us more stuck.

Making Room for What's There

Instead of fighting with that fear, what if we tried something different? What if we acknowledged it, gave it a little space, and noticed what it's telling us, without letting it take over the driver's seat? This isn't about liking the fear, or wanting it. It's simply about recognizing its presence, like noticing the weather. "Oh, there's that familiar feeling of nervousness in my stomach." Just observing it, without judgment, can actually take some of its power away.

Think about it: if you're trying to ride while simultaneously battling your own internal fear, you're splitting your attention. When you can just let that feeling be there, without getting caught up in the struggle, you free up mental energy to focus on your riding, your horse, and what you're actually doing.

What Matters to You?

Despite the fear, why do you keep showing up at the arena? What draws you to horses? Is it the connection? The challenge? The feeling of freedom? The bond you have with your equine partner? Hold onto those reasons. They are your compass. When fear tries to steer you off course, those things that truly matter can help guide you back.

When you're feeling scared, take a moment to connect with why you're doing this in the first place. What kind of rider do you want to be? What kind of relationship do you want to have with your horse? When you act in ways that are consistent with those deeper desires, even if fear is along for the ride, you're moving in a direction that feels right for you.

Taking Fear Along for the Ride

This isn't about eliminating fear entirely; that's often an impossible task. It's about learning to ride with it. It's about acknowledging its presence, allowing it to be there, and still choosing to take the reins, literally and figuratively.

So, the next time that familiar fear shows up, try this:

1. Notice it: "Here's that fear again."

2. Make space for it: Breathe into it, acknowledge it, without trying to push it away.

3. Remember your "why": What's important to you about riding and your horse?

4. Take a small step: Do one thing that moves you towards your riding goals, even if the fear is still present. Maybe it's just grooming your horse, leading them, or sitting in the saddle for a few minutes - every positive experience, no matter how small, it important to build your confidence back up.

You don't have to be fearless to be a good rider. You just have to be willing to be present, make room for what shows up, and keep moving in the direction of what truly matters to you. And that, my friend, is true strength.

Performance and mindset psychology can offer incredible tools to help you navigate these mental hurdles and unlock your full potential as an equestrian. Understanding how your mind works, learning strategies to manage difficult thoughts and feelings, and focusing on what truly drives you can transform your riding experience. If you're ready to explore how these approaches can specifically help you, I encourage you to book in for a chat. We can work together to help you ride with more confidence and joy.